


Some News are Hard to Digest

by Cecret



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, But I had a specific goal in mind for this, Dark Comedy, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Love, This is quite different from the rest of my works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27202553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cecret/pseuds/Cecret
Summary: A discovery puts Eleanor and Michael's relationship to the test. Set after "Employee of the Bearimy"
Relationships: Michael (The Good Place) & Eleanor Shellstrop, Michael (The Good Place)/Eleanor Shellstrop
Comments: 9
Kudos: 24





	Some News are Hard to Digest

**Author's Note:**

> No Cheleanor in this iteration, but mention of Eleanor and Chidi's friendship because I love Chidi. This was not love-triangle material, though, and it was written way, way too quickly to introduce complex dynamic such as my dear, messed up OT3.

The door to their office slammed shut behind her, Eleanor’s strides too long for someone so short, not to mention an expression too terrifying for a mere… human.

(Had Eleanor Shellstrop ever been a mere human at all, though?)

Michael had barely taken out his fedora and placed it down on the desk when she showed up, much sooner than he expected. When he had reached out to her at the train station, she had placed a hand between them and mentioned she “needed some time”, so he was at the very least surprised by the imminent confrontation.

His hands shot up in the air almost instinctively, at the same time her index finger pointed straight at his face.

“How could you do this to me?!”

“I’m sorry-”

“After _everything_ we’ve been through?”

The way her voice broke snapped a piece of his essence in half, and he wondered what drove him to the insane levels of stupidity required to even consider lying to her.

“I made a mistake, I apologize.”

“It’s too late now, man… I can’t believe you did this. Were you just playing with me these past couple of months?”

“No-”

“Was it all some game to you, fork the new Boss and then fork with her mind over this?”

Michael took some careful steps in her direction, raising a hand to stroke her forearm. “No, I swear. Please, let me explain-”

“Don’t touch me.”

He blinked tears away from his eyes and nodded, stepping back. “Fine… But I’m asking you to put yourself in my place for a second. Do you think that, if you had always known this, you would’ve looked at me in the same way ever again? Do you think that our- that this, that _we_ would’ve happened if I had told you the truth?”

“I guess we’ll never know. What I do know is that it’s too late now. It’s too forking late, man… I don’t know if we can find a solution for this.”

All color fell from his face at that. Was it seriously all it took for them to end their relationship? They had never actually discussed what their new dynamic really meant, but was it all so... _fleeting_ to her? When late nights of planning and playing Queen and King of both Heaven and Hell eventually caught up with them, a stolen kiss at the end of a party was all it took to introduce a new layer to their already undefinable bond. Pretending it had never happened was doomed to fail, so soon they found themselves having make-out sessions on top of the desk that eventually led to full nights spent at her or his place.

Michael had always tried to keep himself in line with her, knowing his true feelings were most likely not reciprocated but, for the past few weeks, he had allowed himself to hope, noticing the way her touches grew more lingering and her stares filled with something that seemed too fond to be meaningless.

Was it only his imagination? Or had he forked things up too much with this?

He glanced around the room, unable to meet her eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I dunno. That’s what I’m saying, that I don’t know how we can work a way around this.”

He cleared his throat and ran a hand through his face. “Do you want me to quit?”

“No! Don’t be ridiculous. That’s not gonna fix anything, and you know it.”

“Is there anything I can do to get you to forgive me?”

If only he could stop his voice from trembling... Perhaps she already suspected the depth of his affection, her restored memory letting her in on the secret he had harbored for years, but it was not a matter of spilling it out, either. Much less at this moment.

“This is not about forgiveness, Michael." She sighed. "I forgive you, of course I do. And I understand the reasons that led you to hide this from me. All I’m saying is that it might take a while for me to feel... normal, again. Do you understand that?"

Feeling the thing he had for a heart grow heavier with each passing second, his feet drove him towards her again. This time, he didn't touch her, but let his fingers hover near hers. "I'm still the same Michael. Nothing's changed. I'm the same stupid Michael that makes mistakes and struggles with ethics, but I'm trying. I swear I'm trying. And I won't ever, ever hide anything from you again."

"I know you won't." Slowly, her hand reached out to grab his, but pulled back a second after he intertwined their fingers together. Eleanor turned his back on him and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Sorry, but I still need some time."

"Okay..."

"I know it's only been a day, and I know you're thinking I'll probably get over this at one point, but I'm not so sure that's true. So just let me have some time to process this. Even if it doesn't solve things, it might make them easier."

"Eleanor, please look at me."

She shook her head and didn't move. "I feel like looking at you only makes it harder. Like my brain fills with a bunch of memories that go straight to my stomach and it just makes me feel sick."

Michael's lip quivered at her words, quickly taking a step back, feeling as if he had just been shot. He had expected an adverse reaction from his friends, but no amount of self-awareness could have prepared him for such a harsh rejection. His hand traveled to his chest to try and settle a burning weight that seemed to drown him in despair and disgust as he wondered if existing like this was even worth it.

While she could not even look at him in the eye.

Was it unfair to expect more from her? She had kissed him before he left for the Bad Place, asking him countless times to look after himself and the other two, worried sick about him going back there for the first time in years.

What had changed since?

But maybe he had flown too close to the sun, asking for something —or someone— that was out of his reach, thinking himself worthy of her. Why did he have to be born as a fire squid? If only he had been something similar to an eagle...

"Is this how little I mean to you?"

"You should know by now I feel this way because you mean too much to me."

Michael let out a bitter laugh and sniffed. "I let myself think that you, out of all people, would understand. But, as it turns out, I was wrong. I should've known, but I would be lying if I said I'm not disappointed."

He moved closer to the door, ready to leave the office, but she spoke again.

" _You_ are disappointed? Are you making this about you, somehow?"

"Of course this-"

"What the fork, did I just give you a selfishness STD or what?!"

"Oh, so not only I'm disgusting. Now I'm also selfish?"

"What?! When did I ever say that?"

"You just did!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Are you seriously going to pretend this didn't happen? Because I can call Janet and ask for the records."

"Stop trying to call Janet into all of our arguments! Grow up! I don't give a shirt about those stupid records! All I meant is that you should've given me some time to prepare, not just blurt a piece of information like that out and leave someplace else for me to deal with it all alone!"

"How is this my responsibility? You're the one who can't deal with this, and I'm the one who was dumb enough to even consider that you could. I'm gonna leave now. I don't have the energy to fight anymore."

His hand was nearing the doorknob when her own, raising up in the air, stopped him. "No. I'm going to ask you a question first. And you're going to answer with the truth."

Michael looked at her in silence for a moment, getting ready for one last hit before nodding.

"Were you or were you not secretly torturing me when you gave me my never-ending shrimp dispensary?"

_...What?_

Out of all the questions his mind had conjured up in the past second, that one had not even appeared as a possibility.

"W- What?"

"Were you trying to befriend me only to later let me know I was some sort of... cannibal? And don't lie to me, I'll know if you do."

"What? What does this have to do-"

She raised her voice to cut him off. "Answer the question, Michael. I'm not in the mood to put up with your stalling."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, truly."

“Oh, for fork's sake! Just admit it! You were planning on feeding me as much shrimp as you possibly could only to, at some point, reveal the whole ‘fire squid’ thing to me so I could feel guilty about eating it.” Eleanor's eyes brightened with tears as her palm quickly covered her own mouth. “So I could feel as guilty as I feel now!”

Her voice broke again, only dumbfounding Michael even further, so he could only open and close his mouth a couple of times, completely unable to speak.

"I- I don't understand."

"Oh, c'mon! Keep lying, man. Refuse to tell me the foundation of our friendship and, with it, our- whatever the fork it is we have now, is anything more than a crabload of deceptions!"

"Eleanor, what the There are you talking about? What does this have to do with the Michael suit?"

"The Michael suit? What? No! Dude, I can't eat shrimp anymore!"

His jaw fell when she shed a tear away from her face.

"At the risk of sounding repetitive here... What?!"

"Because of you, I can't eat shrimp! Yesterday, I was trying to take my mind off the fact that you had gone down to literal Hell, so I went to my new dispensary to get some shrampies and chill out. And I couldn't eat them! All I heard was this teeny tiny Michael voice saying 'No, Eleanor! Please, don't eat me! I'm not food, I'm your hot silver fox!' And I had to throw it all out!" A finger pointed at her own chest after she gave up the mocking tone. "Me! Throw out _shrimp_! What have you done to me, you monster?!"

She frowned when a snort escaped him, all the weight and pain suddenly lifted from his shoulders.

"How dare you? Don't laugh! This isn't funny. I already have my own annoying, stupid voice. I didn't need an extra one, much less one that puts me off my forking favorite food!"

Michael concealed a smile when she began to pace around the room.

"This is all your fault, and I'm so mad at you for not taking this seriously! I had literal nightmares about this yesterday. And Tahani had to hold my hair while I barfed my stomach out because I remembered you offered me shrimp in Australia! And it was on Earth so it was forking real! I've eaten- Oh, my GOD, I've eaten calamari in front of you, before our flight to Nevada!"

Eleanor stumbled, her face suddenly turned pale and she took a couple of deep breaths, glaring at him when he tried to step closer.

"You let me do that! All so what? So you wouldn't tell me that you're actually a squid? Was it to torture me? I don't get it, man! Or is it some weird-ash kink? Because even I have things I'm not into and you know that. I know I joke about you eating babies but if you really did, I'd be really put off by that, and I was relieved when you told me you didn't. But me?! I've been eating Michael babies for years! I've eaten so much seafood in my life, Michael... And in that nightmare-"

She paused to swallow and lick her lips, struggling to continue speaking. "In that nightmare... You saw me eating... _that_ . And you explained some Jeremy Bearimy bullshirt to me to tell me- to tell me I was eating your _mom_!"

Eleanor's hands covered her full face as she started sobbing, head turning to one side to avoid Michael's eyes when he cautiously held her shoulders.

“Hey, hey, hey. Calm down. Please, don't cry, Eleanor. Can you let me talk now?” His softened tone of voice received only a nod as response. His fingers reached out to carefully untangle her own away from her face before wiping her cheeks. Moving even closer, he smiled at her and cupped her face with his hands to kiss her. His lips barely managed to brush hers when she pulled back with a quite serious expression.

"Stop! I'm mad at you!"

He backed down, showing his palms, but couldn't hide his grin from her.

"You're seriously going vegetarian for me?"

She eyed him up and down as if he was crazy. "Of course! I can't eat the species I'm sleeping with! I'm not a forking praying mantis." Her brows creased again when he let out a light laugh. “Stop giving me that look, Michael! This is serious!”

“Look, you have nothing to worry about. And you didn’t eat my mom or any other relatives of mine. I wasn’t exactly born into a loving family of squids. Whatever family I have, I found it with you, guys.” She smiled warmly at him, so he allowed his hands to stroke down her arms as he heard her breathing finally settle. “And just like this is my human suit, the fire squid is only a vessel of my essence and my soul. It’s not real.”

“You say fire squid, but all I hear is smoked calamari…”

“None of the food you’re eating here, in the afterlife, is real. It has no impact over any living or dead being. Everything is fabricated by Janet. And I get it if this made you consider going back to your vegetarian diet, but this is not a big deal, Eleanor. I’m serious.”

“I just- Ever since I know about you, it just feels wrong.” Her hands smoothed down the lapels of his jacket, so his arms closed around her waist, pulling her closer.

“Don’t be silly. I appreciate the sentiment, but that’s basically like not wanting to eat something because it reminds you of a Pokémon.”

“I understand it’s not the same, but I just can’t. I can’t do it anymore. I don't think I ever will. So I'm basically mourning, man.”

“I'm sorry I didn't think this would affect you in that way, and that I didn't prepare you for it. To be honest, I didn't actually know what we were talking about for most of our conversation just now.”

“Yeah, I noticed. What did you think I was mad about?”

Her palms slipped behind his neck when he darted his eyes away from her, sensing the color rising to his cheeks.

“Michael.”

“I thought you were really angry at me for lying to you, but mostly… grossed out by what I am.”

“Hey, I couldn't care less about that!” Now it was her tone the one that softened as her fingers began to caress his hair. “I've always known you're a demon, at least in this timeline, and you know I'm _very_ into that side of you. I was surprised by the squid thing, sure, but only because I never gave any thought to all that. To me, you're just Michael, and you'll always be Michael, no matter what you have going on for you underneath that suit. Well, I _do_ know what you're working with underneath _this_ suit, and I really like it, but I mean underneath all that.”

He blinked hard a couple of times, letting his hands roam around her back.

“Really?”

“Of course! And I am mad at you for lying to me about the whole Shawn thing, but it seems like we both have some work to do in the ‘trust’ department. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Michael.”

She nestled herself on his chest and he dropped a kiss on her hair.

“We've talked about this already. And you've apologized twenty times by now. It's fine.”

“It's not, though. We have to work on this. And I still feel like I owe you a million more apologies.”

“Me, too. And now I have to add a few for making you hate seafood.”

Eleanor pulled back a little to meet his eyes and shook her head. “No, but I don't hate it. That's actually part of the problem. If I did, it would all be easier, it would even be easier to eat it. But I… I love it. Because-”

She trailed off and smiled at him, running a hand through his face.

“Because I love you, Michael.”

His eyes, once again brightened but now with tears of joy, widened as he stared in silence at the woman before him.

“And I know we've never really talked about this thing that we've been doing, and maybe you rather we go on pretending this conversation never happened, 'cause the sex is _way_ too good to give it up over something as stupid as feelings. But, after everything that's happened these past couple of days, I just feel like I need to say it. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He leaned down to press a kiss on Eleanor's forehead. “Let's not pretend, let's not forget about it. I love you, too. And it feels so good to finally say it out loud.”

“I've actually been building up the courage to say it for weeks, but when Glenn said you were actually Vicky in a Michael suit, I just went down this awful deterministic spiral because I thought she had been playing with me this whole time! Chidi slapped some sense into me, but I got so scared! I can't believe I almost got you blown up over that. God, what if I lost you? I'm sorry, I'll never stop saying how sorry I am…”

“It's okay, I'm right here and that's all over now. We're fine. And Vicky is nothing more than a pool of pink goo now, alright?”

“Wow, blue demon boys and pink demon girls? That's… traditional.”

“And by that you mean hellish?”

“Yeah.”

Placing his hands on her hips, Michael lifted her up and felt her wrap her legs around his waist. “So, do you still need time away from me to mourn your lost love or can we go celebrate our own now?”

Eleanor laughed and kissed his lips. “I guess I could use a bit of a distraction. Maybe a rebound guy from the depths of the ocean. Do you know anyone who fits that description?”

Michael juggled between kissing her and walking; hence, stumbling his way out of the office. “Mmm… I might.”

“But let's just keep food out of the bedroom for a _very_ long time, okay?”

“Anything for you.” Both glanced around the waiting room to make sure no residents were around before making their way down the hallway, towards the room he had built for them a while back. “And hey, think of it this way: I got assigned the body of one of my best friend's favorite meals. If that isn't fate, then I don't know what is.”

“I think it's time we upgrade that title, bud. How about ‘girlfriend’?”

One of his eyebrows rose at the word and Michael found himself beaming as he kicked the door of the bedroom closed.

“Huh… I have a girlfriend? Wow. But wait- Can you still be my best friend if you're my girlfriend, too?”

“Sure.”

“Would you be my girlfriend then?”

Eleanor laughed and made herself comfortable on his lap when he sat down on their bed. “You're seriously asking me? You're such a dork.”

“Lucky for me, you're in love with this dork.”

“Yep. To both things.” With a hand on his chest, she pushed him down on the mattress to kiss him again as his nails stroked the skin of her back, sneaking underneath the hem of her sweater. Michael opened his eyes when she pulled back and looked at her fingers crawling down the open collar of his shirt.

“So, we've agreed on not eating members of each other's species, but… that doesn't mean we have to change other ‘eating’ habits, does it?”

He snorted at the suggestive movement of her eyebrows and flipped them over to end up on top of her. As his hands teased the waistband of her pants, he let his teeth bite down on the side of her throat, smirking at her gasp.

“Do you even have to ask?”

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by these Tumblr posts around Eleanor's reaction to finding out Michael is related to shrimp:
> 
> https://cecret-with-c.tumblr.com/post/632706401324646400
> 
> https://cecret-with-c.tumblr.com/post/632715735044620288/i-just-noticed-i-said-keep-in-present-as-if  
> (and yes, here I said WWOTEO instead of WPUOFW)


End file.
